In which I become a drill sergeant

It has always been an aspiration of mine to write a wonderful book that everyone would love, and to start it with ''Once Upon A Time-'' .....
However, I'm afraid that this will be little more than just a few measly paragraphs, and not ones entirely fit to carefree ''once upon a times.'' I believe that once upon a times are only fit to dwell in the pages of those books which seldom fail to end in:
''And they all lived happily ever after, except for the evil villain or wolf, who were promptly put in prison, or bound to live the rest of their lives without eating or chasing bacon ever again.''
Or you know, something to that effect. However, those stories are just petty strung out fancies, whose point is to shield you from the unfortunate fact that wolves don't get put in prison on account of the terror they'd cause, and the fact that sure, you can tell a man he's banned from bacon, in fact, you can tell everyone and their mother, and tell the store clerks too, but men have ways of wheedling out of such things, like for instance, moving to Italy where no one has a clue that he was banned from bacon, and will offer him some anyway, to which he will triumphantly take it, not without an extremely smug look.

Okay. I'm sorry for dashing all your beautiful hopes just like that.
I'm pretty high strung today.
Probably due to the fact that its the middle of December and not a drop of snow do we have.

This actually has nothing to do with wolves or villains, and to you're utter surprise I'm sure, it also has not a thing to do with bacon or rebels who run off to Italy either, for that matter.
It has however, everything to do with people.
Just people.
And other things, but mainly people.
Why do people have to be so unsatisfied?
Its annoying.
OH I know what we should do today! LETS GO GET A NOSE JOB!
Well I pity you.
Now I don't much like my own nose, but I prefer it to a plastic substitute.
''ohhh I'm too fat.''
SO GO LOSE WEIGHT.
gee. It really isn't that hard.
Okay so I have a fast metabolism lol..
BUT SERIOUSLY.
Just put your mind to it, that's what its for.
TO USE.
sigh.
People everywhere trying to be perfect when what they don't know is that they are, on account of because God made them.
And no one could have done a better job.
FRANKLY I don't care if you think I'm being too hard on any one of you.
APPARENTLY everyone needs a drill sergeant like me, because NO ONE is completely happy with what they have.
So go be the best you can be.
Forget the nose jobs and the fact that your legs are shorter than your neighbors or whatever.
In case you haven't noticed, with the exception of Americas Next Top Model, NO ONE CARES
that you nose appears larger than some, or that your legs are shorter, or that your eyes are too little. HEY. Maybe you should be grateful that you have a big nose, because there are some wonderful things out there to smell, and it only means that you can take in more of it than others. In some cases such as skunks and stinky diapers, its not so wonderful. But all you have to do is cover it!
Amazing, I know.
The people who matter, are not going to care about any of that. The people who do, aren't worth your time.
Everyone, just go be happy, because you're awesome and wonderful and blah blah blah, PLUS you're YOU. And if you weren't, who else would be? So don't try to change that.
At least there's one thing we can all count on, so DON'T WORRY, young women! With age and experience you'll soon have the same thing between your breasts that OLDER women have . . . YOUR NAVEL!!

I'll leave you on that comforting thought.-

My beauty filled life.

Hello People.
I understand that my mother makes blog posts with pictures of her children?
Well. I am sorry to inform you that she often doesn't catch the real deal.
Ohh sure you've probably all heard the funny stories, and how weird we are,
and you often see ridiculous things on my mothers status once in a while
that she claaaims is her children hacking her account when she's not looking....
Don't know where she gets THAT idea.
>) heh-heh..
BUT ANYWAY.
My point to this.. is that you still, STILL dont know how crazy and weird and
.. random we are.
The idea just came to me that maybe its actually better that way..
Safer, you know.
See, that way you have no chance of falling off your chair laughing and possibly
injuring your noggin.
Too bad for you, because today I have no sympathy for people who prefer
safety over extremely funny pictures.
If you need, you may strap yourself to your chair.






Alot of the times you'll see this look... the completely innocent one
that you cant help but love, right?

Other times you'll get this one, the one where we're way too cool for your time,
obviously.


These are just going to make gorgeous head-shots some day at some cool and famous job interview..
I was just telling Kara how she should use this one:





Its all in the lips, don't you think?

well anyway.

Hey sometimes we can actually look pretty cute, according to Kaela, anyway:




Just look at those big brown eyes.. so imploring


However I do admit that things can get preeetty ugly around here...:






Don't take it too seriously. It'll change pretty quick. :




I have such a handsome brother.
Actually this one reminds me of Calvin, in Calvin and Hobbes.
Oh here's a family picture, :





I bet you're thinking that we should be child-models.
We're an adorable bunch. If our mom ever puts us up for adoption,
this is totally the photo we're usin.




If no-one took us in, I'd be shocked, Kaela could get downright ugly, Kara would think you're stupid, and Morgen wouldn't know whether to be sad or confused.

Somedays, I just look around me, and just.. wonder lol.

I'm sure you do too.

What makes a farm complete-

A few mornings ago, after getting up, and while still not completely awake, I went outside with my mothers camera, and decided to take some pictures.
I don't know about you, but for some reason I feel like a farm isn't entirely complete without some hay-bales..





They really make a good photo subject too:P
What else completes a farm? I happened to discover that one as soon as I stepped out the door:




This is Husker. He's even smiling for the picture. You don't get past Husker. Unless you sneak.
And unless this guy doesn't give you away:





I know, he looks completely innocent in this picture. They all do.
But I had to take like 10 pictures of Benny before I got this one. In all the other ones, he's
on the run. The dogs are pretty good. Of course they jump up on you, and no they do not care if you've just woken up, or if your sweater is white. However when you get back from the hospital minus an appendix, they do take that into consideration. Only for awhile though. So if you're visiting, you might try clutching your stomach, and walking really slow and fragile-like.





This is our raccoon. Its name is Ty Coon, and I gave him a piece of cinnamon roll, and then went to take his picture. To show what suck-ups the dogs were in their photo-shoots, he promptly stuck out his tongue.
Ty and Husker wrestle all the time much to the disgust of Benny, as he would rather fight for real, and sometimes goes for the coons tail, only to be taken out by a leaping ball of fur that is later identified as Husker. It isn't safe to lay on the ground while taking pictures when Husker is around. He will take advantage. So I stood up on some steps while taking this next picture:





I liked the tree on the left, and the barn, so I took a picture of both together. It worked out quite nicely I think. I did take a picture of the sun when it was just up.. I rather forgot to put it first.
Well here it is anyway:





I really like this picture a lot. And this is the opposite side of the field:





I have to admit, its beautiful.
Our farm is pretty much complete I think. Of course, I didn't put pictures of family and friends that really completes it, but you get most of the picture anyway.
Also, there's cats in the barn that you cant see. And rubber boots inside the front door. Have to include those :)

Omaha, plus Salty Oceans.

I'm more interested in what I discover than what I invent
-PAUL SIMON

September 8th, 2010 (that would be yesterday when I wrote this)

Hi everyone! after all this time i still haven't figured out why I refer to myself as ''everyone.'' ... maybe its because it makes me feel less of an idiot when i talk/write to myself. This is the first time my journal has been written in when i haven't been traveling... The only traveling i did so far this year was conventions.. Sydney.. and Omaha. Omaha's great:) Fun times there. People there are a great source of entertainment. Yes I said people. The best example being Austin Couch.
Relyssa, (my sister), Mark, Austin & i were playing Malarkey, a game in which you have to make up explanations for questions, and only one person holds the right answer. To be frank, Austin pretty much stinks at that game ha-ha. no hard feelings. He just tends to freak out at the last minute and makes up some wildly outrageous answer, to which we all die laughing. So, as we are playing this game of Malarkey, a question is read saying, ''Explain why the ocean is salty.'' So we all open our cards, and the three of us that have to bluff, (our cards say to) pretend to peer intelligently at our cards, while quickly think of an explanation that hopefully people will fall for. The point is to be convincing. Meanwhile, Austin is breaking into fits of nervous laughter. When we all say we're ready, (minus Austin) Relyssa says her answer of why the ocean is salty, then it's my turn, and Marks, and then we all look at Austin. This point being the last minute, he freaks out and blurts out a wildly outrageous answer.
''BECAUSE THE FISH CRY!!!''
To which we all died laughing, and the rest of you sadly missed our funerals.

Schoolwork :P

Hello everyone :)
Its been awhile since I've been one here.. I'm practically a stranger. So I've been working really very hard on schoolwork these days, and right now I'm having to write all kinds of paragraphs for English. For most of them, the subject is assigned. I decided, that since my paragraphs aren't usually strict and monotonous, and dull, that I'd share some of them with you. Even though it's school, and even though I haven't the slightest clue who my four teachers are that wrote my lessons, (I do online school) I really can't ever hold back when I get a spark of amusement in me... Which is often in my lessons, or else school would always be incredibly boring. So this is one of my paragraph things, and the topic assigned was, ''Describe virtual learning to one of your friends.'' Which is just perfect for this ;) No this will not be an amazing piece of writing, I usually hurry through:P But I hope some of it will at least be entertaining, which is what I aim for.

Here I go.

Imagine: You wake up in the morning, wait until you are fully vigilant, and then you proceed to hit the power button on your computer. With that single movement of an index finger, you are at school. Inconceivable! You’re probably thinking right now. How could that be possible? There you are, lounging in an incredibly comfortable armchair, in you’re most ridiculous pajamas, eating your breakfast. What could be more insane? The fact that you are really, truly at school!

Even though some of your mothers might not let you wear you most ridiculous pajamas while doing schoolwork, Virtual learning is an excellent way to learn. There are millions of children on this earth, and not all of them learn the same way. Some excel faster than others, some kids learn better with hands on, and there are countless other differences between all of us. Virtual Learning can be for kids and teenagers alike, who want to study at their own pace, or are having troubles in a public school setting, or maybe they just simply fancy “going” to school in their pajamas. In a lot of ways, virtual learning is like regular learning. You can choose from classes that you would find in a public school too. Just think… no getting into dilemmas with your teachers or classmates, and even if on the off chance you do, they wont be able to pummel you. That was definitely an exaggeration. Neither parties are allowed to do that in the first place. Seriously though, the worst thing that could happen is your computer device involuntarily shutting down. And that, my dear friends, is a problem easily solved. The solution is called your power button. See, you wouldn’t have the kinds of problems that arise at public school. There are no bullies, no meany-head teachers, and no one can see you if you pick your nose. That and more, describes just how wonderful virtual learning is.

so what ifff....

These are my wondering thoughts. and no i do not think like this all the time.

So what if there were these bugs, soo microscopically tiny that you couldn't even see them with the most powerful microscope, but they crawled around on our food & in our noses and made bug messes but we didn't even know it?


What if eyeballs were made so you could take them out & put them back in without a mess, and some people exchanged eyeballs, like if someone had brown eyes and was wearing black and just couldn't bear that combination, asked their neighbor, ''excuse me, but may i borrow your lovely blue eyes? I have a date tonight.'' only to dissolve into tears when your date states that he's madly in love with your eyes, and you tearily admit that they're not your eyes at all, but your neighbors, and yelping in shock he jumps up and bolts out of the restaurant, ending the last date you'll ever have again.


What if, (you know when you don't brush your teeth for a long time and your tongue turns white..?) (not saying i don't brush my teeth for a long time, i in fact am infatuated with the business of brushing my teeth, and in the days before i knew it was bad for me, used to brush those little buggers six times a day, and also for the record, am a fan of brushing my teeth on facebook, so check it out if you are ever overcome with spasmatic waves of boredom so great, that even going through everything I'm a fan of on facebook would be like stumbling upon a potato when you've had only green beans every day for a week.) .. so what if the white coating was actually thousands of white bugs that were so still you didn't even know they were bugs, because some random person, close to the beginning of time, (most likely a man) was tricked by someone with evil humor, into thinking that the white stuff was actually just stuff that accumulated when you didn't clean your mouth for a long time, therefore tricking the whole human race!


So what if, inside of your dog, (if you happen to have one)
(we have 3, one not being ours, but a friend of my dear brother Ryan brought it here for a little while. And i might add that its slightly annoying and might hang itself at any minute if it keeps jumping around all the time, so on the off-chance that the dear man who brought his lovely huge dog here is reading, do come and collect it, or i will come and collect you, and let me tell you dear man, I've never tried that, and I'm only 5'5 and a whole half, but it doesn't sound too pleasant now does it?)
now. back to the inside of your dog. What if there were little elve-people that lived in our dogs and remote-controlled them, and can hear everything we say and see everything we do, and are secretly laughing at how dumb the human race is?
(do me a favor & don't slice your dog open just to see.)

this post is obviously by me. i mean, who else would write this kind of stuff?!

Ohh myyy

Ladies and Gents, we have a serious problem on our hands.

...i dont mean that litterally in case you are curiously inspecting your hands..

I am talking about..something that the whooole world is going through. Two words.

Global. Warming.

Its everywhere!!!

The evidence sits apon our rooftops, watching, waiting to fall apon innocent passerbys:

You can tell we have a large case of global warming here. It falls onto our tables and covers everything:

Tea parties are absalutely un-heard of, without Global Warming inviting itself:

It creeps up on little tinkly things and freezes them:

THEN it just plops itself down on our steps!!! the nerve i tell you! and im sure it plans to stay awhile:

The lives of children all over the world are affected, and they stare in despair out at the global-warming-ness.:

They look out in desperation, not knowing how to handle this monster.:

The effects are disasterous, it causes them to run in fright, and gives them a poor taste in shoes:

They run this way and that, in their poorly tasted shoes. This
Global warming is oft causing confusion:

Besides melting the polar bears homes, and causing major heating spells as you see in the above pictures, this layer of global warming has come on so thick, that it causes the children to fall over when running in fright, as you also have seen in the above pictures:

the horror!!!

Well I'm sorry if this put you in an emotional state of mind, and I Do hope that unlike the polar bears, your houses ARENT melting. I realize no-one is sure what to do, and what kind of action should be taken to help prevent this global warming, but I ASSURE you, that action shall be taken!!!!!

-a few days later-:

-shayla stands out in the midst of the global warming, wand in hand, ready to take it on-

person 1: (shouts) ''you dont have to do this deary! we can just pour giant ice-cubes all over the earth and hope for the best!''

shay: (dramatically) ''no! i have to do this! for our town..for our country...FOR EARTH!!''

person 2: ''i hope your equipped with sun-screen, it must feel like a desert out there.''

shay: (like the brave girl she is) ''im as ready as i'll ever be, stand back!!!''

this post is by shay (me)

dont try this at home folks,

coome onn;) you cant say you werent expecting this can you?

well... ?????????

so..what is one to write, when one has nothing to write about..? Well i guess that's not entirely true, because here i am writing about not having anything to write about. That's pretty much the same thing as not having anything to write about, right? Honestly, my journal is all down in this blog, and will not be written in until i go back to Finland. Or someplace that holds enough interest to write about.. I admire you Davis Sorenson.. You like...turn things such as getting a cup of tea, into an amazing story..for those of you who dont know Davis, i think he's one of the followers up top..and you should definitely go to his blog and read the amazingness within. My life isn't interesting... I am just a regular person..i think.. I tell you, your going to have to give me a topic or something, and im not even sure if that would work hahaaa, maybe when i start driving i'll have some hilarious tales about cops. or something. haha. well. when it's summer i'll take up photography, and you can all gaze at the pictures that will obviously be incredible since i took them. Well i am tottally in awe of myself not being able to come up with anything, and so therefore am now lost for words. good day

The USA, New York Airport

.....wow, after Sweden I just realized, sitting here in the New York airport... Americans have a really dull and bothersome dress code. Not the service people or w.e, I'm talking about the people-people. Davis your right, I am getting culture shock already:P

ugh. I'm going to miss the good fish over there. Haha, I bet you all miss me over there in Sweden and Finland... you know it from the heart lol. (inside joke)

Inside joke: not meaning a joke that is only to be told inside, but a joke that is known between a group of friends, and is only humorous to those who know the origin of the joke, or to those who like to laugh at jokes they do not understand, so as not to feel like a fool. Until someone ask's them something about the joke, and they stutter and stumble, and thereby, feel like a fool.



-ANYYYWAY-

this next post will be a list of distasteful things that I have seen since arriving in the US.



ShaylaRose

hates big sandals

detests floppy hats

abominates dull-colored clothing

abhors huge cheesburgers

loathes hippie flower patterns

disrelishes too-big-of portions

dislikes people who will do anything to create drama

as if the people themselves arent dramatic enough.

depricates the sound R's make here

DID I MENTION I HATE BIG SANDALS?!

rejects thick-flip-flops

distains big tennis shoes

looks down nose at longlong fingernails

...especially painted ones...

scorns how it's like a crime to be different in looks here

has no use for fake-obvious looking highlights

AHHH HATES TIE-DIED CLOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

derides the color maroon

disgusts platform heels!

repudiates how guys wear shirts that say ''tough guys wear pink.''

looks down contempsiously on grandmas that pack on make-up

im telling you ladies, it gives me a fright.

eschews how African-American airport workers 98% of the time have an attitude

is bothered when people wear dis-colored hose

detests big walkie talkies

also detests how people actually use them! who do you think you are? G.I.Joe?

frowns apon gauchos!

HATES BIG FAT SANDALS!

wrinkles her nose at tourist dress-code

cries her eyes out at the non-seaside-ness

is EXTREMELY bothered that most grandmas have short, curly, died hair

is annoyed by sandals that try to pose as tennisshoes

blows her nose at the gangster look

longs to yank longlong hair apon a guys head

digusted by girls who just wont accept that they're not guys

stresses apon pants that are clearly too short

disturbed by people who slump in their chair or slouch when walking

thats only acceptable if your a hunchback, people! ..or old and cannot
help it that your back insists on bending all the time

OH AND I HATE clothing that advertise stupid things like
''cutie'' or '' i <3>



shayla
hates fanny packs.




O_o




might as well have just said that i hate America lol.



this post is again by me, and i realize that hate is indeed a strong word, however, no big sandals,
floppy hats, dull color-coded clothing, huge cheeseburgers, hippie flower-patterns, too big of portions, people who do anything to create drama, the sounds R's make, thick flip-flops, tennis-shoes, short hair, long,long fingernails, (especially painted ones), fake-obvious looking highlights, tie-dyed clothing, the color maroon, platform heels, shirts that say ''tough guys wear pink'', grandmas with frightening make-up, african american airport workers with an attitude, people wearing discolored hose, big walkie-talkies, people who actually use them, gauchos, people who look like tourists, the non-seaside ness, grandmas that have short curly died hair, sandals trying to pose as tennis shoes, gangters, guys with longlong hair, girls who think theyre guys, clearly too short of pants, people who slump while walking or sitting, shirts that say stupid things like cutie, OR fanny packs-were harmed during the writing of the journal, or the creation of this blog-post.

ShayStuff...is back! :)

Good day ladies and gentlemen, and not-so-gentle-men. People always forget to include those guys. Well well. I have ignored my blog long enough. Today, after finishing a lesson in science, my ears were well perked, and I heard a verrrry perculiar sound. And its name was my journal! Well my journal, it appears, has been hibernating, and woke up early. So here I am with my journal, that STILL has un-posted posts. Dreadful-I know. You, my dear readers, are going to have to go aaaaaaall the way to the last post that was posted, all those many months ago, so you can keep up with what I am about to post. You see, what I'm writing this very moment Isn't the main post, it's the post-post. Understand? So, pause here, and if you will, go back to the post before this post, so as to not get confuddled when I begin reffering to that post in this post. So when I begin this post by saying, ''So that last page made alot of sense huh?,'' you shall know by the nonsense on the previous post, that I am talking about it. Alrighty. Here I go.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So that last page made alot of sense huh. But it's okay, cause not everthing makes sense, and if you think it should, I have no idea why you're still reading this, after all the non-sensical items written previously. OH. I might add that I am now in the US of A :) Why yesss the airplane ride was good.. as far as you know hah 0_0 . I slept for maybe..3 hours like right when I got in the plane. And then after I woke up, I figured out what not eating breakfast and sleeping through lunch can do.

Well you see, this is how it all went from the moment of awakening. I had the privelage of sitting in the very first row of the plane, right hand side beside the window, and also beside two middle-aged ladies, one with orange-red hair, and the one beside me had purple-red hair. Nothing unusual about this right? Perfectly normal passengers I assure you. SO. I woke up..and I didn't feel so fantastic hah. I hadn't eaten, and so I started eating a small bag of trail-mix that was convieniently placed inside my backpack. ...Then I really felt like I was going to throw up. That has nothing to do with what I think of trail-mix by the way. So I got up to find the RR, feeling shaky. Of course there are curtains seperating the seats and the rest-room part of the plane. I stumbled behind the curtains, then, I turned around.

Turning around while having dizzy-moments is not a very smart thing to do, But you probably will understand that my brain wheels weren't exactly grinding, they were more like.. flopping lame little summersaults and oozing all over the place in landing. So understanding that, you might understand when I tell you that in all the exciting hubbub of turning around, and having my brain failing at attempting gymnastics, I became very groggy, and the floor became very close. AKA, fainting. on the floor. in the space beside the restrooms where food and drinks are kept. I remember my eyes being open..and feeling sooo tired, even after a 3 hour nap... and I remember shutting my eyes... and I remember a Malaysian stewerdess walking around the curtain, ...and ruining it all. :(

The Malaysian people helped me up, Although I was so comforatable. But I forgave them for distrupting my peace, because they gave me a sandwich, orange juice, and hot chocolate:)
So, I went back to my seat, feeling quite akward, because very few people fall onto the floor in a faint without the company of a big boom, and I was not one of those very few people. Luckily I sat in the front of the plane, and didn't have to walk past abunch of people. Unluckily for me, the people I DID sit by, were very nosy.

As i took my seat, I became very aware that the two color-happy ladies were peering at me. ''Peering is rude,'' I almost said. But I didn't. Then, the lady beside me turned towards me, and asked me if I was okay. ''Yeah,'' I said. Then, the questions came. ''SO, why do you think you fainted? O_o <---- (peering face) ... Me: ''Probably cause I didn't eat anything today.'' Her: ''OH? What did you do last night? Were you at a PARTY??'' Me, trying to get in a word, n-no... Her, obviously paying no attention to my answer: ''DID you have too much to DRINK??'' My thoughts: '' Lady, YOUR the one with the purple hair.''
Me: ''no, the reason I fainted was cause I slept through lunch.'' She seemed satisfied with that answer, and no longer hampered me about parties, and I didn't try to press a who drank what arguement.


this post is by me, and I'm not sorry if it in any way offended you, or caused you alarm, because this is how i write, and i enjoyed writing every bit of it:)
-shay-